Dear Pneuma,
My Christmas List:
1. I want an end to the loneliness and disassociation that leads some young men to kill themselves and others.
2. I want to see the development of domestic and global politics based on a foundation of the power of kindness and care.
3. I want to see my brother's family engage in their grief.
4. I want my first family let go of pride and hardness long enough to simply ask for what we want of each other.
5. I want to find an ethos of giving in myself.
6. I want all of us to be brave enough to state the things we believe, humble enough to apologize for the wrongs we've done, and kind enough to forgive one another.
7. I want my friends to find mates worthy of them.
8. I want to celebrate in joy the actual gift of life with my Beloved here, now, in this time and in this place.
What do you want for Christmas?
Cobalt Dreams
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Dear Pneuma,
It may be an urban legend, but I once heard that there is a precedent in Texas for a murder defense. The defense was: "He needed killing," and the precedent is an acquittal. Whether or not a jury actually heard that defense and found the defendant "not guilty," I will leave to the law sleuths. Nevertheless, there are times, when I can clearly imagine the conversation in the jury room:
"There is no doubt she did it."
"True, but, well, he really WAS a jerk.
"Mean as a snake."
"Stingy, too."
"I heard that even his dog hated him."
"It's not as if anyone of us would have done any different, considering . . ."
"What's more, now we don't have to worry about him getting drunk and destroying the saloon."
"It seems to me she did a public service. If anyone ever needed killing it sure was him."
"Indeed, this town's sure to be a lot safer now that he 's gone."
"What's more, his vote on the city council can go to someone that really wants to make our fine town a place that is
attractive to tourists."
"So, what's it to be folks? Dinner is getting cold."
"All in favor of "not guilty" on the basis that, in this situation, "he simply needed killing" raise your right hands. . . "
I like to run this movie in my mind on days like today. Today, someone that means a lot to me is being a jerk. In fact, this person has been such a jerk, that I wonder if a jury would find me guilty if . . .
I don't-not really-because, being mean to someone on a Wednesday, is simply not a reason that someone might "need killing." Nevertheless, creating a black and white, Ol' West judge and jury movie starring my friend and myself, allows me space for some laughter and some forgiveness. It allows me the perspective to see how petty and small grievances can be.
I don't advocate swallowing real harm, but it seems that sometimes, I need to realize that those I love can be mean to me. I suppose that means that I can be mean to those I love as well. I guess we are all mean sometimes, even when we don't mean to be. May we find forgiveness for those small meannesses. May they be moments out of the ordinary, and not simple habits, and may we learn to discern the difference between a bad day, and a bad situation.
In the meantime, my jury is still out.
Love you,
Cobalt Dreams
It may be an urban legend, but I once heard that there is a precedent in Texas for a murder defense. The defense was: "He needed killing," and the precedent is an acquittal. Whether or not a jury actually heard that defense and found the defendant "not guilty," I will leave to the law sleuths. Nevertheless, there are times, when I can clearly imagine the conversation in the jury room:
"There is no doubt she did it."
"True, but, well, he really WAS a jerk.
"Mean as a snake."
"Stingy, too."
"I heard that even his dog hated him."
"It's not as if anyone of us would have done any different, considering . . ."
"What's more, now we don't have to worry about him getting drunk and destroying the saloon."
"It seems to me she did a public service. If anyone ever needed killing it sure was him."
"Indeed, this town's sure to be a lot safer now that he 's gone."
"What's more, his vote on the city council can go to someone that really wants to make our fine town a place that is
attractive to tourists."
"So, what's it to be folks? Dinner is getting cold."
"All in favor of "not guilty" on the basis that, in this situation, "he simply needed killing" raise your right hands. . . "
I like to run this movie in my mind on days like today. Today, someone that means a lot to me is being a jerk. In fact, this person has been such a jerk, that I wonder if a jury would find me guilty if . . .
I don't-not really-because, being mean to someone on a Wednesday, is simply not a reason that someone might "need killing." Nevertheless, creating a black and white, Ol' West judge and jury movie starring my friend and myself, allows me space for some laughter and some forgiveness. It allows me the perspective to see how petty and small grievances can be.
I don't advocate swallowing real harm, but it seems that sometimes, I need to realize that those I love can be mean to me. I suppose that means that I can be mean to those I love as well. I guess we are all mean sometimes, even when we don't mean to be. May we find forgiveness for those small meannesses. May they be moments out of the ordinary, and not simple habits, and may we learn to discern the difference between a bad day, and a bad situation.
In the meantime, my jury is still out.
Love you,
Cobalt Dreams
Monday, December 3, 2007
Dear Pneuma,
Wow. Haven't written for an entire month. Luckily, I know you always enjoy receiving letters from me. What's new? How is the weather in your part of the world?
Weather here is cold. And hard. We're living here in ice. Yet, it is that time of the year again, a time of thawing and opening. A time of warmness and "cheer." I am feeling it this year. Twice now, I have been choked up with a feeling of simple contentment in the midst of Christmas music.
Not Muzak, mind you. I'm talking about the real thing: choirs and small ensembles, surrounded by intimate light, a community of trustworthy people, and songs with real meat in them. "The steward has provided this, in honor of the King of Bliss, which on this day to be served is, in reginensi atrio." This is Christmas as I love it, Christmas, as an adult in a world of rush, hurry and buy, that focusses on simple love, gratitude of enough, and the idea that we are called to be kind and hopeful in the middle of sleeting ice and snow.
That's it for tonight. My Beloved calls, and tomorrow awaits.
Take Care,
Cobalt Dreams.
Wow. Haven't written for an entire month. Luckily, I know you always enjoy receiving letters from me. What's new? How is the weather in your part of the world?
Weather here is cold. And hard. We're living here in ice. Yet, it is that time of the year again, a time of thawing and opening. A time of warmness and "cheer." I am feeling it this year. Twice now, I have been choked up with a feeling of simple contentment in the midst of Christmas music.
Not Muzak, mind you. I'm talking about the real thing: choirs and small ensembles, surrounded by intimate light, a community of trustworthy people, and songs with real meat in them. "The steward has provided this, in honor of the King of Bliss, which on this day to be served is, in reginensi atrio." This is Christmas as I love it, Christmas, as an adult in a world of rush, hurry and buy, that focusses on simple love, gratitude of enough, and the idea that we are called to be kind and hopeful in the middle of sleeting ice and snow.
That's it for tonight. My Beloved calls, and tomorrow awaits.
Take Care,
Cobalt Dreams.
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