Dear Pneuma,

Recently, I was asked to articulate what I believe about sacrifice in a philosophical discussion. I stated that I believe the act of sacrifice is somehow necessary for human well-being. How? In what ways? These are questions that I had a hard time addressing. Since then, I have also been thinking about prayer. I am finding that it, too, seems to be necessary for human well-being. How? In what ways?

The answer that I keep "hearing" to both of these questions, in both instances, is "to be right with God.," that humans need to sacrifice and to pray "to be right with God."

Uh-oh. What does this mean, "to be right with God?" Does this mean that God requires sacrifices and adoration from humanity? Why? What reason have I to sacrifice to and adore that which allows people to die in hunger, despair and violence? What reason have I to sacrifice to and adore that which allows children and animals to be systematically and cruelly abused, manipulated and destroyed? What satisfactory reason have I to sacrifice to and adore that which either ordained or ignored the unspeakable violations of the Crusades, the Black Plague, the Inquisition, the French Revolution, slavery, and and the calculated genocide of whole cultures of humanity in the American continents? What do I get in return?

Do I believe that I should sacrifice and pray to God so that I, the righteous person, can rest assured that disease and harm shall never touch me or mine? Is it then my fault, my lack of devotion and true contrition that caused a nearby relative to die slowly of cancer before her children and grandchildren's eyes? How does that reflect on her grandchildren's righteousness, children under 3? What does that say about the nature of God?

Do I believe that "being right with God" means that the whole nature of the Universe is changed? Am I to believe that if all humans on the planet (and beyond) were to "be right with God," not only would wars cease, but diabetes would no longer exist, broken bone would never happen, and no person's desire to listen to country music could conflict with my own preference for opera? Do I believe that, if all humanity were to "be right with God" that the Rocky Mountains themselves would become more magnificent and any less dangerous? Do I believe that prayer and sacrifice will make the vacuum of space any deeper and more meaningful to poets and musicians?

Though I realize the above conclusions may work in some people's theology-a theology where the very pine trees of this world are a twisted corruption, consigned by human sin to existence in Paradise Lost-they do not work in my theology. I do not believe in that understanding of God's relationship with the world.

I believe that God is what is. I believe that God named God's self as " I am that I am." I believe that the impenetrable, immovable, incorruptible truth of God is all that is. My will does not redefine this moment. My will does not call family back from the dead. My will does not erase hurricane Katrina. I do not believe that my prayers and my sacrifices recreate nature. I do not believe that my prayers and my sacrifices will bring my brother back to life or repay me for the years of knowing him that I have missed.

I do, however, believe that my prayers and my sacrifices make me "right with God." I believe they make me right with all that is, as it is, while freeing me to be in new relationship with the foundation of the Universe. Rather than causing God to wave Its fingers and take away my neighbor's unemployment, my prayers and my sacrifices align my understanding with the reality of my neighbor's unemployment, making it something that matters, rather than something to fear. My prayers and my sacrifices realize my disease, freeing me to relate authentically with the blessings and hardships that attend. My prayers and my sacrifices require movement from self-gratification to interaction with the reality that besets me.

Sacrifice means giving something precious to destruction. Prayer means giving something shameful to another's care. Both are acts of self-denial and faith. Both acts require without return. I believe that both are necessary to make humans "right with God"-aligned somehow with both adamantine reality and the human capacity to alter and transcend it. I believe that prayer and sacrifice are answered by God when we become vulnerable, broken and compassionate, relational with one another and with God.

Still Thinking,
Cobalt Dreams