Dear Pneuma,

I hear people say this thing, "Another's love rescued me."  It is said in a tone of assumption, as though it is an undisputed truth.  This bothers me, because I do not believe it to be true.  The redemptive power of Love is not found when "that one" person sees the real you and loves that you into existence.  Love redeems when you find the real you, know her fully, and choose to live her into existence.  

Fairy tales are not stories that teach little girls that they are princesses incapable of self determination, awaiting princes to awaken them to their own sexuality.  Fairy tales are stories that show us our divided selves.  Only when our inner prince rescues our inner princess, only when our inner princess bestows her grace upon our inner prince,  only when our inner, unloved and truly extraordinary sister proves herself to be stronger than the opinions of the respectable yet mean-spirited older sisters, can we be integrated people.  

Our "other, better half" is not somewhere on the loose outside of ourselves.  It lives inside us, and is waiting to be rescued, redeemed, saved.  Love, romantic, filial, or spiritual, is not bestowed by others.  Knowing and loving self comes first.  For some, that is simply a given. They love themselves.  They always have.  They tumble from genie to enchanted castle and always avoid the traps.  They cut through the bramble hedge that would prick and pick apart their bones.

For some,  becoming their own best friend is one of the hardest relationship goals to reach. Each time they embark on a new journey, they have to struggle to remind themselves that they have a prince's sword, a princess' kindness, a witch's mystery at their disposal.  They have to work to disbelieve the mirror someone else holds before them.  They have to struggle against the voices of step-siblings listing the litany of their failures. 

I disagree with the notion that it is God's love that rescues.  I disagree with the notion that it is a partner's love that rescues.  I disagree with the notion that it is parents' love that rescues.  I believe it is my love that rescues.  When I love myself, I can hear the love from God.  When I love myself, I can see the love from my partner.  When I love myself, I can reconcile the love from my parents.  When I love myself, I can give my love to others and never lose it, even when that love is rejected, vilified or defiled.  

Do you love yourself, Pneuma?

I do,

Cobalt Dreams