Dear Pneuma,

When I close my eyes and shut off the white noise, I am in a cobalt blue space, alone but for the knowledge of God.  In that space, I am not defined as someone's subset.  I am not bound in duty or obligation to any set of rules.  I am alive; I am free; I am myself without trappings. 

I open my eyes, and I am suddenly in a space with furniture, decorations, tools, and rooms.  I am suddenly a being connected to other beings, each of whom defines themselves in relationship with me.  There are duties, obligations, rules, and trappings.  I am alive; I am bound; I am clothed.

What is right and good when the free being in the cobalt space yearns to go one direction, and the bound being in the defined space is asked to go another?  Sages, intuitives, and self-help gurus suggest the free being is the true being, and that only in honoring the true being can life be lived to the full.  Yet, in having friends and family, the bound being is connected to others; and sages, aesthetes, and the covenanted community suggest that the bound being is the true being,  and only in honoring the true being can life be lived to the full.

So, is the artist, whose art serves others, the free being or the bound being?  What is the worth of the art if others do not appreciate it?  What is the worth of the art if it does not come from a place of free integrity?  Which is first?  Which concern takes precedence?  In arts practice, does one strive to become a part of human community or to stand apart from human community?

Arrg.  Who thought it was a good idea to give me the ability to choose?  

With Love,

Cobalt Dreams