What is it about my nature that I continue to enslave myself to others' expectations? Be concrete: I go to work and I succeed there, but at the goals others are setting. I adjust my methods and conform my time in response to co-workers' distresses, client's hopes and the system's habits of operation.
Today, I stop to ponder my own hopes, distresses and habits, and I cannot seem to name them. "To have people like and admire me" seems to be a phony and fear-based motivation for action.
Self-help ideology suggests only the goals I find from myself are valid. Christianity suggests that only Christ's goals are valid. I am conflicted between "live and die for others," and "live and die for Christ." I am conflicted between "reject the ways of the world," and "change the world," between "be the change you want to see," and "deny yourself and follow."
How do you respond to this conflict?
Seeking to Transcend,
Cobalt Dreams
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