Dear Pneuma,

I seem to be recovering nicely from my soul anemia: thank you.  Unfortunately, I am not back to full health just yet.  Last night, I sat next to a woman so deeply fallen into love that light was blazing from her fingertips, and I found myself pulling away from her.

This morning, asking myself why, the only answer that satisfies is a fear of that blaze.  Really?  Didn't I, myself, blaze in just such a way when I found my Beloved?  Don't I still?  Why should I cringe away from that light in another person?

Soul sickness-a soul recovering from such a twisted and inward focussed energy, it shuns that which is open, embracing and transcendent.  Like an old willow, a soul can grow around a base, seeking relief from pressures and disadvantageous winds, and become twisted and gnarled-wrapped tightly around old wounds, so that the sap, water, nutrients and life cannot flow freely from root to leaf.    That kind of tree might bend away from the sun.  That kind of soul backs away from the light.

I wish for that woman the blaze of love-may she find herself in it.  I wish for myself continued recovery so that my soul recognizes the good and yearns toward it, rather than conservation that shies away.

Asking You,
Cobalt Dreams