Dear Pneuma,

Today is about fashion. I was preparing for a gig this morning, and I could sense the right fashion choices. This is strange for me. Usually, I am dressing to "feel" good-looking, or I am dressing to my Beloved's preferences. When I am clothing myself with these intentions, I often end up comfortably or inappropriately dressed. I rarely end up in clothes that make a "fashion statement."

This is, I think, the reason that we should not dress to please others, or dress to create a self-image. With these motivations, I often end up looking like a Madonna groupie, which may have been cool once, but . . .

Fashion rarely follows my preferences, but fashion is not something for me or for my Beloved's pleasure. Fashion has something to do with how we are relating to the world we are living in. When I am full of insecurity, I need clothing to define me. When I am full of selfishness, I need clothing to state me. When I am aware of myself and the world I live in, clothing becomes a statement of being in the world.

Clothing says, "I am with you," by conforming; "I am against you," by not comforming. It can say, "I hate consumerism," by being used. It can say, "I love my blessedness" by being new. Clothing can state our slaveries and our autonomies. It can proclaim solidarities with causes and companies. It can shout exuberant joy, and easy familiarity. Our clothing choices mean something.

Today, I was neither needing to boost my confidence or attain my Beloved's regard. Today, I needed to wear clothing that said, "Here I am. I am fresh. I am excited. I am in charge of myself and my being in the world." Somehow, I know that I did, because what I chose to wear was neither my personal preference, nor some safe conglomeration of attire that says nothing at all. What I chose to wear knows it looks like something it has been seeing and doesn't care if it makes me look pretty, sexy, safe or foolish. It knows that it makes me look right.

Today, in my clothes, I am neither selfish nor insecure. Today, in my clothes, I look good. I feel good. I am going to knock their socks off.

Love you,
Cobalt Dreams